Subject: [sangkancil] [BNN] Today's Top Stories Oct 24
From: Bala Pillai <bala@malaysia.net>
Date: August 23, 1999 9:07:00 PM EDT
To: sangkancil@malaysia.net
BurySon Nasional News
Today's Top Stories Oct 24
1. GOVERNMENT BANS CIVIL SERVICE FROM SUPPORTING PAS
The government has warned its employees and anyone who
deals with them
that
stern action will be taken against anyone, including its
employees and
members of the public, for manifesting any form of support
towards PAS.
Following this warning, the Immigration took immediate
steps to rename
the
travel document for international border crossing as Umnoport.
In a similar move, the local print media has instructed
its staff from
the
Obituary Dept to standardise death announcement with "We
regret to
announce
that ..... umnoed away peacefully......."
Meanwhile, an Educated Minister has requested staff from
the Grammar Dept
of
his Grandma University to study alternative words to describe
the
different
tenses.
"I don't think it is appropriate to describe what has happened
as 'past
tense'. It should preferably be changed to 'umno tense'
as it can be used
to
describe both what has happened as well as what is happening,
following
the
replacement of He Who Must Be Destroyed At All Cost,"
he pointed out.
2. PASSPORT FEE REDUCTION WELCOMED
A Deputy Primetime Minister announced yesterday that the
umnoport fee
will
be reduced for children and students, effective next month.
"This will greatly reduce the cost of going overseas, especially to those
whose parents belong to the lower income group," said the Deputy.
He elaborated that the government had introduced the new
readable
umnoport
to facilitate processing by immigration officers who had
trouble reading
the
old umnoport at border check points. "Unfortunately, under
the new
system,
children are required to have their own umnoport. The
government realises
the problem this has created, and will do everything possible
to reduce
the
financial burden of the lower income group."
The announcement was received by the majority of lower
income Malaysians
with thunderous applause. "Thanks to the generosity of
the government
with
its caring attitude, I can now afford to send my children
to universities
anywhere in the world," said a rubber tapper with a sigh of relief.
A laborer, who could not afford the medical treatment for
his 8-year-old
daughter under the corporatised hospital care services
in Malaysia, was
obviously pleased with the reduced fees for passports
issued to children.
"I just can't find words to express my gratitude to the
government for
this
windfall. First thing tomorrow morning, I will call the
clinic in Harley
Street in London to confirm the date for the surgery that
my daughter
desperately needs," he said.
© BurySon National News