**Taken from Sangkancil**

 Subject: [sangkancil] [BNN] Today's Top Stories Oct 24
 From: Bala Pillai <bala@malaysia.net>
 Date: August 23, 1999 9:07:00 PM EDT
 To:  sangkancil@malaysia.net
 
   BurySon Nasional News
   Today's Top Stories Oct 24

   1. GOVERNMENT BANS CIVIL SERVICE FROM SUPPORTING PAS

   The government has warned its employees and anyone who deals with them
   that
   stern action will be taken against anyone, including its employees and
   members of the public, for manifesting any form of support towards PAS.

   Following this warning, the Immigration took immediate steps to rename
   the
   travel document for international border crossing as Umnoport.

   In a similar move, the local print media has instructed its staff from
   the
   Obituary Dept to standardise death announcement with "We regret to
   announce
   that ..... umnoed away peacefully......."

   Meanwhile, an Educated Minister has requested staff from the Grammar Dept
   of
   his Grandma University to study alternative words to describe the
   different
   tenses.

   "I don't think it is appropriate to describe what has happened as 'past
   tense'. It should preferably be changed to 'umno tense' as it can be used
   to
   describe both what has happened as well as what is happening, following
   the
   replacement of He Who Must Be Destroyed At All Cost," he pointed out.
 

   2. PASSPORT FEE REDUCTION WELCOMED

   A Deputy Primetime Minister announced yesterday that the umnoport fee
   will
   be reduced for children and students, effective next month.

   "This will greatly reduce the cost of going overseas, especially to those

   whose parents belong to the lower income group," said the Deputy.

   He elaborated that the government had introduced the new readable
   umnoport
   to facilitate processing by immigration officers who had trouble reading
   the
   old umnoport at border check points. "Unfortunately, under the new
   system,
   children are required to have their own umnoport. The government realises

   the problem this has created, and will do everything possible to reduce
   the
   financial burden of the lower income group."

   The announcement was received by the majority of lower income Malaysians
   with thunderous applause. "Thanks to the generosity of the government
   with
   its caring attitude, I can now afford to send my children to universities

   anywhere in the world," said a rubber tapper with a sigh of relief.

   A laborer, who could not afford the medical treatment for his 8-year-old
   daughter under the corporatised hospital care services in Malaysia, was
   obviously pleased with the reduced fees for passports issued to children.
 

   "I just can't find words to express my gratitude to the government for
   this
   windfall. First thing tomorrow morning, I will call the clinic in Harley
   Street in London to confirm the date for the surgery that my daughter
   desperately needs," he said.
 

   © BurySon National News